Tip ‘o the hat to Dr. Steve for pointing out this breaking news. “Neanderthals have spoken out for the first time in 30,000 years, with the help of scientists who have simulated their voices using fossil evidence and a computer synthesizer.”

Holy Crap, what a great use of intellectual resources. That whole alternative fuel thing is such a waste of time…

It gets better: “In contrast to a modern human “e,” the Neanderthal version lacks a quantal hallmark, which helps a listener distinguish the word “beat” from “bit.”

Which means Neanderthals were simply ancient rednecks. I went to college with a Texan who had to differentiate between “pin” and “pen” as follows: “Got an ink pin?” or “Why did you poke me with that hat pen?”

The irony is biting.

Well, that’s all Lil” Neanderthal needed to hear before figuring the the time was ripe for the “Campaign ‘08″ to “get a hook up on” the “wazzz’ up” of 50,000 years ago and how they “played it”.

I know… Those are his terms. Don’t get me started. And give him a break. He just started speaking after 30,000 years of keeping his yap shut!

Oye Vay, the children. It’s always about the children!

Anybody got an ink pen? I need to change my vote.