While researching the novel I’m writing, I tried to ask the all-knowing internet a simple question: “How many satellites currently orbit the earth?”
Guess what? No one knows!
NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center reported almost 25,000 man-made objects: 8,681 currently in orbit, and over 16,000 objects in a state of decay in September, 1997!
That was 11 years ago. If something was decaying then, what does it smell like now? And I sure as heck don’t want it raining down on my noggin’ tonight! Know what I mean?
Latest data indicates over 100,000 “objects” with between 8,000 and 10,000 “satellites” active, between private data/communication and military uses.
I downloaded an Excel spread sheet from a NASA-related site which only identified 874 satellites, with names in the “A” category like:
Afristar: USA / WorldSpace Corp. (searching for Africa in America)
AGILE: Italy / Italian Space Agency Civil Scientific Research LEO (who knew? investigating pizza in space!)
AIM USA: “Center for Atmospheric Sciences, NASA” (searching for Al Gore and his Global Warming scam)
Alsat-1: Al Queda WHOA!
China leads the world in anti-satellite destruction technology. Apparently unsatisfied with simply poisoning our American children with lead-based paint, applied to innocent-looking, cheap-ass toys, they aim to destroy our global data and communication abilities with the push of a button!
Kung-pow chicken? How about Kung-pow, there goes your iTunes download, mid-stream!
I don’t know about you, but I plan to spend a few more moments at night looking up for “incoming”, and then ordering Italian take-out.
Yes, I also had the same reaction to your blog about Italian satellites (presumably searching for Pizza, in your words…how stereo-typically biased)…and that is, I ordered Italian Take-out…did you expect more than a Pavlov’s Dog reaction from a Neanderthal like me? You can’t mention food in a blog and expect me not to get all ADHD on the main topic, and instantly become fixated on the food (try it with beer next time and watch me forget the entire point of the blog other than the casual mention of beer).
p.s…and since you mention Chinese toys, didn’t Lil’ Neanderthal come from China? Hey, turn the lights off and see if he glows?
By: Dr Steve on April 21, 2008
at 10:00 pm
That’s alot of shit floating around up there!
By: Slug on April 21, 2008
at 10:01 pm
Maybe we can do some more “Star Wars” weapon system target practice.
By: JJ on April 21, 2008
at 10:28 pm
Actually it was done by design. By cluttering space with objects (you forgot to mention the astronaut’s glove from the Gemini program in the mid ’60s that they are tracking) it becomes harder to track and shoot down the itones satellite. Plus it slows the earth’s rotation by about 0.0000000001 of a second therby giving us more daylight. Pretty brilliant!
By: CWood on April 22, 2008
at 7:44 am
if you want to know about space, walk across the street to VVVAAAAALLLLLL!!!! just keep yer hand on yer wallet just in case someone tries to snatch it off you…
By: Truelove on April 22, 2008
at 8:57 am
…so I guess the next big question remains “when are we going to start sending off rockets filled with our trash?” Possibly one containing Lil’ Neanderthal?
By: Dr. Steve on April 22, 2008
at 11:11 am
…but I guess a rocket containining Lance Bass IS the equivalent of sending our garbage into outer space, huh?
By: Dr. Steve on April 22, 2008
at 11:13 am
Very interesting Mr Wood..Lets face it those satellites are sending signals back telling people everything we do, and where we are going. Better be careful about what you order for take out. Someone might just zap you from space to get a taste of those little crab ragoons..Man i love those things !!
By: humorgirl on April 23, 2008
at 10:19 am
wait, we don’t know how many?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! what the hell? that explains EVERYTHING!
By: noviashley on April 24, 2008
at 7:32 pm